I found some of the following one-liners on a website the other day and I thought I’d share them with you. I think it won’t be too long before some of them start applying to me!
- Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make whoopee” and you answer “Pick one, I can’t do both!”
- You are getting a little action today – but that means the fiber is working.
- You think an “all-nighter” is not having to get up to pee.
- Your friends compliment you on your alligator shoes, but you’re barefoot.
- You stop lying about your age and you start bragging about it.
- You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
- You think “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
- You point out what buildings used to be where.
- A sexy woman walks by and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
- You’re not grouchy; you just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.
- You’re wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just your left leg.
- Everything either dries up or leaks.
- You realize that aging is not for wimps.
- You write thank you notes without being told.
- You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”
- You wear black socks with sandals.
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