The Blog Less Traveled

I was driving to my father-in-law’s home the other day and passed by the roadway sign you see on the left. I thought nothing of it. If you’re from Michigan, this sign makes perfect sense. If you’re from any other state, you’re probably going to do a double take – What the heck was that? I thought South and North were the opposite of each other!

For the uninitiated, this sign is telling you that a “Michigan Left Turn” is coming up. At this intersection, you can’t make a normal left turn by getting in the left lane and turning left. You have to get in the right lane, turn right, move over to the far-left lane and then make a u-turn about 100-200 yards up the road. Easy, right? If you’re from Michigan, you don’t give this a second thought. It becomes part of your DNA. Not being from Michigan, this took me a little while to get used to.

The Michigan Left Turn was started in 1960 by the Michigan Department of Transportation (MDOT). The first implementation was done in the Detroit area at the intersection of Eight Mile Road and Livernois Avenue. The rationale behind it was to improve traffic flow at large intersections by eliminating left turns and the backups that can happen at busy times.

Personally, I think they’ve gone overboard on using these types of intersections. I can see their value at heavily used intersections. From both a safety and traffic flow standpoint, they make sense. However, it seems like they’re starting to use them at almost every intersection that has any kind of traffic at all. I’m no traffic engineer but I would wager that for 80% of the day, their benefit is negligible. One thing I’d like to see them do is to make the normal left turn available after the standard rush hour times. This would still give the safety and traffic flow benefit during the busy times, but speed up left turns the rest of the day. With gas prices going through the roof, this would also have the benefit of getting traffic through the intersection faster by totally eliminating the extra time and distance of the longer Michigan Left Turn.

For more history on the Michigan Left Turn, click here.

For additional informational from Wikipedia, click here.

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. After ordering their cornbread and beans, they talk about the latest addition to their junkyard business.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says “Kin ya swallar?” The woman shakes her head no.

“Kin ya breathe?” The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, “Ya know, I’d heerd of dat dere ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’, but I ain’t never seed nobody do it.”

The Game is one of my favorite suspense/thriller movies. What do you give a man who seemingly has everything? Michael Douglas is a very successful and wealthy investment banker. However, other than the prestige of his job and his wealth, he has little else – no life outside of his investment world and no family to share it with. For his 48th birthday, his brother, Conrad (played by Sean Penn) buys him a ticket to “The Game”, unusual entertainment provided by a company called Consumer Recreation Services (CRS). What follows is an exciting thriller with many twists and turns along the way. The beginning of the movie starts a little slow for me but is probably needed to fully develop the character and his ultimate changes as the story unfolds. The director keeps you guessing throughout much of the movie and the ending is somewhat surprising, to say the least.

I highly recommend this movie if you enjoy suspense with a surprise ending.

Main characters: Michael Douglas, Sean Penn and Deborah Unger

Year released: 1997

For more information on the movie, click here. Be forewarned, though. If you don’t want the surprise ending revealed, don’t go to this website until after you’ve seen the movie.

After almost 6 months (10/30/07 was my last ride), I finally made my first bike outing of the year. Hooray! I did a 41-mile ride through what was mostly a farming community. I could definitely smell the fertilizer in the air! Spring in Michigan has finally arrived. My time was actually 35 seconds faster than my ride of six months earlier. However, as I write this, I can tell you that my butt is feeling the pain. I probably should have done a little shorter ride or gone at a more leisurely pace. The mind was definitely willing to maintain the pace but the body apparently was not.

I’ve always found bike riding and running to be therapeutic. It gives me a chance to clear my mind and sort things out. Many people are familiar with the bible verse from John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Not to disparage the bible in any way, but for me, the phrase, “If you choose to exercise, exercising will set you free.” is very apropos. There’s something about getting the old juices flowing in your system that gives you a clearer picture on life. I suppose from a medical standpoint, your increased metabolic rate pumps more epinephrine (adrenaline) into your system to give you that “athletic high.” Whatever it is, I always feel better about things after I’m done. I may start off the day in a less than stellar mood, but after that run or bike ride, I’m more settled and in a better frame-of-mind to handle what the rest of the day has in store for me.

Getting started in an exercise routine is always an initial struggle. The first few sessions can be a wake up call for your body and may make you feel pretty sore. Just don’t overdue the initial phase. Take it nice and easy. At first you might not feel like there’s any improvement at all. I think that’s a very natural reaction. Things take time and you will gradually begin to feel better. The best thing you can do is to find a partner so you can help and encourage each other through this phase. Hang in there and eventually your determination will pay off.

Legal disclaimer: Every individual is different so before beginning any type of physical conditioning program, you should consult a competent medical professional. Duh!

My wife is visiting my daughter this week so I get to play chef again. The other day I was going to cook something but a coupon came in the mail from Burger King that offered a buy one, get one free on their new Steakhouse Burger. It sounded good to me so I popped the top on the convertible and headed on over to Burger King to get my two-for-one special. Those babies are big! The meat patty is about twice the size of a Whopper and they throw a bunch of fried onions on top. Of course I had to wash them down with something so I also ordered a large chocolate shake. The old gut was definitely full after that meal. The only problem was that I planned on a little run the next morning. Big mistake! That was the toughest run I ever had. Not that I know what being pregnant feels like, but I swear I was in my third trimester during the entire run. I definitely learned my lesson that day on proper eating habits before a run.

Yesterday was a watershed event in my climb up the culinary mountain. I actually used a skillet for the first time. Yep, I cut open a pre-packaged bag of pasta & shrimp and heated it up all by myself. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks! And to think that I didn’t use this feat to impress some girl in my younger days.

Well, until next time folks, keep it tuned here for the next episode of the Kulinary King.

First off, I’m not a big Radiohead fan. Their music is okay, but I wouldn’t want to listen to them all day. That being said, there is one song of theirs that stands out and is worth listening to. The song is Street Spirit (Fade Out) from their 1995 album, The Bends. The song has a haunting and beautiful melody but the lyrics are rather depressing. If you’re in a real happy frame-of-mind, this song won’t help your situation any. The emotional impact of the song is about tenfold stronger if you watch the video. It really makes the song that much more powerful. It’s shot in black and white and uses multiple frame rates and slow motion photography to achieve the outstanding visual effects. I’ve also presented the lyrics below, if you’re interested. It’s most definitely worth a watch.

Click here for the video.

For more information on Radiohead, click here.

Street Spirit Lyrics

Rows of houses, all bearing down on me
I can feel their blue hands touching me
All these things into position
All these things we’ll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out

This machine will, will not communicate
These thoughts and the strain I am under
Be a world child, form a circle
Before we all go under
And fade out again and fade out again

Cracked eggs, dead birds
Scream as they fight for life
I can feel death, can see its beady eyes
All these things into position
All these things we’ll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out again

Immerse your soul in love
IMMERSE YOUR SOUL IN LOVE

As you get older, you start reflecting more on life. You’ve collected a wide range of experiences and memories over the years to draw from. I don’t think a day goes by without coming across something that triggers one of those experiences or memories. Today, I happened to be out on a morning run and passed by the new hospital in our neighborhood. As I was running by the Emergency Entrance, I was reminded of the fact that a friend of mine from long ago had passed away last week. Although I had rarely seen him over the past 30+ years, I knew from other family members that he was fighting cancer. While in Florida last December, I had the opportunity to stop by his house and see him. I was only able to spend a few short hours there but I’m glad I had the chance to see him one last time. Considering the struggle he was going through both physically and emotionally, he had the greatest attitude you could imagine. He didn’t wallow in sadness or complain about the situation he had to deal with. He just appreciated the time he still had and enjoyed it with his family and friends. What a blessing he must have been to his family and friends during that time. I don’t know if I would be able to carry myself through a time like that with so much class.

We don’t often appreciate the love and friendship we have in our lives. The struggles of day-to-day living smother our human spirit. We worry so much about making the latest deadline and paying the latest bill that we lose sight of the important stuff – the spouse, child, friend or coworker that is right next to us. If they mean something to you, let them know. In some small way, show them they matter. A thank you, a handshake, a pat on the back, or…

Just give them a hug.

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He’d carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Jane Smith

Dear Jane:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the hose clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter

If you don’t know what OS X is, just skip this post.

I happened upon a ZDNET blog today that was discussing the next version of Windows (click here). In typical fashion, there were the sophomoric flames in the comments section. Instead of using reasoned arguments to make their case, they eventually degrade to my operating system is better than yours and yours just sucks. However, there was one comment, in the form of an analogy, that I thought was hilarious and worth repeating. The commenter’s blog name was “Nonzealot”, and here’s what he/she said:

OS X girl thinks she is hot because she’s just had her metal braces replaced with clear ones. She hangs around all the popular girls all day and wants to be just like them although if you were to ask any of the popular girls what they thought of OS X girl, they wouldn’t know who you were talking about. OS X girl knows this and when she gets home at night, writes Facebook posts about how much she hates all the popular girls and wishes they would die. The next morning, she will go into the principal’s office and make up a story about how one of the popular girls stole her purse. At lunch though, she will be sitting at the table next to the popular girls laughing at all their stupid jokes.
OS X girl gets either really high marks on her assignments if her parents did it for her, or really bad marks if her parents were busy and she had to do it herself.
OS X girl prides herself on never having gotten an STD unlike some of the popular girls although this is mostly because none of the boys want anything to do with her. She did convince one of the chess club members to make out with her after school one day and immediately got mono although she tells herself that mono doesn’t really count as a disease because it doesn’t affect your genitals.
She drives an Acura CSX and sticks her nose up at all those tacky Civic drivers, ignoring the fact that she basically paid Honda $10,000 to put an Acura logo on her Civic.
Windows girl, however, doesn’t exist because they are all so different. There are the promiscuous Windows girls who get the disease of the week from the jock of the week but most Windows girls are either waiting for marriage or practice safe sex and are always perfectly healthy.
Some Windows girls drive muscle cars because they like to go fast, some drive their daddy’s BMW, some drive a used Civic, it really depends on their circumstances although all of them make it to school on time.
When working in groups, they tend to get top marks although they are more than willing to take ideas from the girls in the debate club when it will get them even higher marks. All of this will help them get into the top universities and have really successful careers, if that is what they decide to do. They’ll probably be really polite to OS X girl as she is cleaning their house although they probably still won’t know her name.

BTW, I own and use both Windows and Apple computers. In fact, I’m using an Apple computer to type this, but I still appreciate good humor.

Today I’m going to start a new topic – Movies. I’ve always enjoyed watching a good movie. At home, I have a 400-unit DVD Changer and I filled that puppy up a few years ago. I like most any type of movie genre as long as it has some entertainment value. I have to admit though, if the movie is so complicated or deep that the plot is hard to follow, it doesn’t make it in my book. For the most part, I go to a movie to be entertained. If I have to use too much brainpower to appreciate it, it won’t make it onto my top 100 chart.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but lately it seems that many of the movies that I like, the critics rate pretty low. I’ve almost gotten to the point that if the critics rave about it, I avoid it like the plague. I didn’t spend good money to get a Hollywood producer’s personal view on some perceived social injustice. I can get all the social commentary I want online for free or from TV documentaries and the news. Give me some good old-fashioned comedy, romance and a little action, thank you very much. So, without further ado and in no particular ranking order, my first movie selection is Ghost.

Ghost has several different movie genres rolled into one. There’s drama, romance, comedy and the underlying theme of good versus evil. The romance was nicely done and in good taste. I got a real kick out of the way Whoopi Goldberg played her crazy character, Oda Mae Brown, and the interaction between her and Patrick Swayze’s character, Sam. The visual effects of the shadowy demons were subtle and compelling in portraying the consequences of evil. This movie definitely makes the grade for me.

Main characters: Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tony Goldwyn and Whoopi Goldberg

Year released: 1990

For more information on the movie, click here.